I Cicing Gudig: The Journey from the Dream of Becoming Human to True Self Acceptance.
A miserable dog lived in suffering, constantly chased away and beaten by humans. Envious of human life, it prayed to Goddess Durga to become a human. Its wish was granted, but living as a human turned out to be full of difficulties. After repeatedly asking for higher positions, happiness still eluded it. In the end, it realized its mistake and begged to return to being a dog.
In a small village, there lived a miserable dog. Its body was thin and emaciated, its fur had fallen out, leaving only scabs and a foul odor. The villagers called it "I Cicing Gudig," or the "Miserable Dog." Every day, this Miserable Dog wandered along the roadside, searching for food from scraps discarded by humans. It was not uncommon for it to be chased away or even beaten by people who were bothered by its presence. "Ugh, the smell is overwhelming! Get away from here, you ugly dog!" shouted a villager while swinging a stick. The Miserable Dog could only lower its head and retreat, enduring the pain in its body and heart. It felt cursed to be born into such a state of suffering.
Cicing Gudig Who Wanted to Become Human (Source: Personal Collection)
One day, Cicing Gudig walked to the market, its stomach empty and its eyes full of hope. There, it saw a man eating heartily. Cicing Gudig sat quietly from a distance, observing with longing. Its saliva dripped as it watched the man devouring chicken, grilled fish, and various other delicious foods. In its heart, it began to dream, "Oh, how wonderful it would be if I could become human. Every day I could eat well and live comfortably. I would no longer be hungry and humiliated."
This fantasy continued to haunt its thoughts. Until one night, it decided to seek its fortune at Pura Dalem, the temple dedicated to Dewi Durga, the goddess known as the protector of the marginalized. Despite its fear, Cicing Gudig was resolute. Upon arriving at the temple, it focused all its thoughts on Dewi Durga and made its plea with sincerity. "Great Dewi Durga, I humbly beg you. Make me a human. I wish to live happily, eat well, and enjoy life like other humans," it pleaded with hope.
Suddenly, a thick fog enveloped the temple, and from within the mist emerged Goddess Durga, with a graceful and commanding presence. Her voice thundered, "Oh, Miserable Dog, what do you wish for? Are you serious about becoming human? Do you think it is easy to be human?" With conviction, the Miserable Dog replied, "Yes, Your Majesty. I have thought it through carefully. Living as a human must be full of happiness and pleasure." Goddess Durga looked at the dog with a piercing gaze. "Very well," said Goddess Durga, "I will grant your request. But remember, being human is not an easy matter." With a single wave of her hand, Goddess Durga transformed the Miserable Dog into a young man.
The Miserable Dog was now a young man with a healthy body. At first, he felt immense happiness. As soon as he became human, he went to the nearest eatery and ordered the delicious food he had only dreamed of. He ate with gusto, feeling like the richest person in the world.
Cicing Gudig Struggling as a Human (Source : Personal Collection)
However, this happiness did not last long. After a few days, the Miserable Dog, now a man, began to face the harsh reality. To be able to eat, he had to work. However, lacking skills and knowledge, he could only find low-paying, laborious jobs. Without money, his stomach grew hungry again, even more so than when he was a dog. He began to realize that being human was not as easy as he had imagined. Every day, he struggled to survive. Often, he felt exhausted, hungry, and lonely. "If only I didn't have to work and follow others' orders. Life is so hard," he lamented. Unable to bear the hardship, malicious thoughts arose within him. He began to steal to get food. However, his actions were discovered, and the villagers were enraged. They surrounded him and beat him until he was left in severe pain. In his dying state, he regretted his desire to become human. "How foolish I was," he thought, "Becoming human is not as easy as I thought."
With his body full of wounds and his spirit in despair, the Miserable Dog, now a man, returned to Pura Dalem. This time, he pleaded with Goddess Durga to become a high-ranking official, a minister. "Your Majesty, I have made a mistake in my choice. Being an ordinary human is very difficult. I wish to become a minister, someone with power and respect."
Goddess Durga appeared again and said, "Oh, ever-dissatisfied being, do you think being a minister is easy? A minister must be wise, consider the welfare of the people, and support the king in governing the land." However, the Miserable Dog did not care. "The job must be easy, Your Majesty. With great power, I can live luxuriously, command others, and have everything I want." Goddess Durga granted his request once more. In an instant, the Miserable Dog, now a common man, was transformed into a minister. He now resided in a grand palace, wore luxurious clothes, and enjoyed abundant wealth.
But, as soon as he took office, he realized that being a minister was very demanding. Every day, he had to attend meetings, solve state issues, and handle various crises. The Miserable Dog, now a minister, felt overwhelmed by responsibilities he had never imagined. "Being a minister is indeed very difficult. I cannot enjoy life as I had hoped. If only I could become a king, my life would be easier and happier," he thought.
That night, the Miserable Dog returned to Pura Dalem with new complaints and requests. "Great Goddess Durga, being a minister is truly hard. I beseech you, make me a king. This way, I could live freely and without burdens." Goddess Durga looked at him with weary eyes. "You truly never learn from your mistakes. But very well, I will grant your request once more." With a single wave, the Miserable Dog was transformed into a king. He quickly moved into the palace and took the throne. At first, he felt pleased and proud.
However, being a king turned out to be far from the idyllic life he had imagined. Every day, he faced larger and more complex problems than before. The decisions he made often went wrong, leading to dissatisfaction among his people and officials. As the people began to revolt, the Miserable Dog felt immense pressure. He no longer enjoyed the luxurious life he had envisioned. "Being a king is incredibly hard. I don't know what to do. If only I could be a prince, enjoying life without having to deal with state affairs," he murmured.
That night, the Miserable Dog returned to Pura Dalem once again. With a weary face, he pleaded with Goddess Durga, "Your Majesty, I beg you, make me a prince. I want to live a peaceful life, free from the heavy responsibilities of a king." Goddess Durga, growing increasingly impatient, granted his request. "Very well, this is your last chance," said Goddess Durga with a firm tone. The Miserable Dog was then transformed into a prince. Now, he no longer had to worry about state matters.
However, living as a prince turned out to be less ideal than he had imagined. Every day, he had to study literature, etiquette, and martial arts. His teacher was very strict, and whenever the Miserable Dog failed to answer a question, he was struck with a cane. When beaten, the Miserable Dog involuntarily made a "kaing" sound, similar to when he was still a dog. His teacher grew suspicious and struck him again, and this time the Miserable Dog, scared, wet himself. He quickly realized that he was unsuited to be a prince or any other being besides his true self.
With deep shame and regret, the Miserable Dog returned to Goddess Durga at Pura Dalem. "Your Majesty, I ask for forgiveness. I have made a mistake. I realize that I am not suited to be human, a minister, a king, or a prince. I want to return to my original form as a dog." Goddess Durga, with compassion, replied, "At last, you understand that every being has its own place and role. You must learn to accept yourself and live your life to the fullest." With a gentle wave, Goddess Durga restored the Miserable Dog to his original form.
The Miserable Dog returned to the village, but now he was wiser. He no longer felt envious of humans or other beings. He accepted himself as he was and endeavored to live peacefully, despite his simplicity and limitations. Over time, even though he remained a wretched dog, he became more content and happy. He realized that true happiness does not come from appearance or status but from self-acceptance and gratitude for what one has.
